Anticipation

Anticipation sinks deeper in my memory than I would often care to admit. Darkness finds itself a comfortable home within my perceptions about my assumptions than the assumptions find in the generalizations which often foul my tongue. Oddly, I notice this. Odder still, I often forget to make actual my threats to preform a literally verbal "ethnic cleansing" of my own mouth. Maybe I should just wash my mouth out with soap; having to combat the outside inclinations of a stereotypical middle-class Christian, blinded by their own ability to better reflect the sun than their melanin blessed counterparts, to assume my ceremonial washing is the righteous response to unrighteous behavior instead of physical practicality to encourage mental actuality.

How is it that when experiencing life, most people cannot accurately identify, explain, or evaluate their own expectations toward or perceptions of that life? Stepping into a room holds within itself a million presumptions and expectations. We assume that when we step into this room, that there will be something to step into. Perhaps there is no floor, perhaps just another door, perhaps the door is not a door at all, but a painted curtain over a brick wall. Think about that. Did you? How many assumptions are contained within that sentence? I expect that you probably thought about the door analogy; however, I told you to specifically think about 'that'. Perhaps you didn't catch 'that'. Perhaps you did, and if you did, then you probably know 'that'. See?

The simplest of tasks in life is to have tasks. How easy is it to do? How hard is it to be? I am not sure, but committing to surety is not the wisest of activities anyways. But again; why is it so hard for us to remember our expectations about an experience in life, when in recollection of that same period of life we are often completely riddled with only our perceptions about that experience. And sadly, often these perceptions of our experience only serve as tools which we sorely misuse to evaluate our lives and those around us, while at the same time twist to justify and qualify our own position in that experience. We enter life with our perception, and we remember life with our perception; so how is it that we can live life outside of our own perceptions?

Doing this is more than doing; it is being, and it is being beyond what we would by nature be, it is climbing without ropes in practical actuality. It is this practicing of the theoretical "climbing beyond one's ability" which can catapult us beyond what we perceive and expect into something else entirely.

Anticipation; what keeps you reading, thinking this may possibly draw to some conclusion or beneficial collection of words. Sadly, my words are merely the linguistic placeholders for thoughts which cannot so easily be manipulated into a sequence of reason, or even of value. Seeing as the valued integers are conceptual absolutes, and the functional signs are no more than grey scaled hypothetical situations, which could not be more undefined if they were completely devoted to case-studies for unfortunate students of Intercultural Studies; it is this drab anticipation which influences me to write and you to read. Please read aloud, for at this point, the anticipation only gives a measure of insight which charges the user to place more undefined faith in what they cannot see. Further, it is making my mouth dry.