Perceived

Different from a perspective, which is a location or manner of viewing something, a perception is the place at which the object of observation has been obtained. Thus, while it is easy for people to have many perspectives of Love, determined by their location and manner of life, there is only one linear location on the plane of understanding. For while the perceptive place is the place where the object of attention is obtained, the actual knowledge of that object is still a far way off, further down the plane, on the same line as understanding.

What I am about to do will probably be unpopular, but I think through this simple deliberation the difference between perception and understanding can be better revealed, and thus, a new element of Love elucidated. I wish to delineate between the sexes, and both their understanding of, and perceiving power of Love. Now, before I begin this deliberation, I would like to point out that while I have made it a habit to update this blog each month, I missed the last month due to the large amount of time which was needed to work out some of the intellectual burrs of this idea. I apologize to my non-existent reading base for the tardiness of my mental concentration.

Often I have heard it said that there is an inscrutable affirmation of true Love, when the Lover is present in mind and in body. This has been often realized in such a way that the Lover takes the elevated place of another's affection; the "one." In discussions where this term is used, I have seen a tendency (which cannot alone be held responsible for my conclusion in this matter); women often recognize this more than men.

I realize that much of what I am saying will be clear in understanding to women, and I can almost hear the snickering laughter, even in my own present "entanglement;" where such slowness of identification was my calling-card. To be candid, women really do recognize Love before men do; this I think is well known and almost expected. However, the dangerous place I find myself is here; while I do think women can perceive or recognize that Love is present, I would submit that men are the first to actually identify and understand love. That is, I believe that men have an inherent ability to actually analyze and synthesize the everyday actions and feelings which are essential ingredients to Love. Yet, even while they can do that extremely well, they are terrible at actually perceiving if Love is, in fact, present in a relationship.

I think it is because of this that we can find ourselves at my tentative, but sure conclusion; often men can only know for certain that Love is present in a relationship if the woman perceives it, and he is able to determine that what she understands Love to be is accurate. What this means is that while women can perceive if Love is actually present, the responsibility of the man is often to help his Lover understand if that Love is pure and is not something less than full. Therefore, only after the man has taken the responsibility to purify his own understanding of Love can he help the woman do the same, in such a way that, following the mutual exploration of these feelings, the woman can be sure that what she perceives is Love, and the man can be sure that what he knows to be Love is what is between them. This complex and delicately beautiful relationship is what we used to affectionately call "an understanding." This understanding is not of the woman that she Loves, but that her Love is true, and this understanding is not of the man that he recognizes Love, but that the woman does, and it is true, and therefore, he, as the beloved, has a responsibility.

This responsibility may be the subject of another discourse; but that discourse may never make it to this journal. What can be said about this responsibility is that men, when being found in a woman's affection must first make a determination; they must determine if this Love is true. If it is not, then the man must take responsibility to pass this understanding to the woman, who can then help him in suppressing and correcting that selfish or impure relationship. If is true, then the man must take the responsibility to respond to this Love, sharing his affections or removing them, and sharing this understanding with the woman.

It could be argued that what I am condoning is a woman-led Love relationship, which may be offensive or seen as narrow-minded to some. However, I would submit that this is not woman-led, but woman-determined. What I would like to point out is that the man is the one who has the responsibilities of information sharing, initiating, and determining. Thus, the man is clearly the active agent in this relationship, but the woman is the focus. This means that the man does all of his actions out of a desire to respect and value the woman and her feelings. Thus, this is not a woman-led relationship, but a relationship where the woman is the factor which the man uses to determine much of the action. I do not claim to know much about love or its workings in our world, but this is something I have observed and think is worth serious consideration, if not considerable discussion.