Formulated feelings have nothing more for humanity than an ordered way to experience feeling; a structured sentimentality, if you will. It is this structured sentimentality which overwhelms me; which rails against my soul with the desire to produce in my soul the same tears which the prevailing culture attempts to convince me is normal and necessary for the experiencing of such brokenness.
Well, now I have crossed into the boundary of the unknown which, in my lack of explanation I created; I failed to admit to my brokenness. How weak must we humans be if even at our most vulnerable state we still possess the inability to completely be that, and strive for invulnerability. On the same note, humanity seems to possess a supernatural ability to hold on when all hope is lost, especially when the acknowledgement of being broken seems to us a backward step -but maybe I am speaking only from my experience.
Maybe the fear of brokenness comes from the culture which cannot even buy a stick of gum without a receipt. I do not presuppose to propose that cultures which do not need anything more than a word or honor are better than cultures which require more for an agreement to be reached. But I am. At least in the extremity where our words should be our words; interpretations aside -we should say "yes" and be sure that all who were listening to us heard us say "yes."
This is, of course, a clear and wide road (which, when translated into humanity's tongue would appear: dark and dangerous). Yet, if we can commit within our inability to actually be dedicated to what we say, and be dedicated to what we say I think we can move beyond the inability into an expectancy of hope; a realization of the work which is at work within us.
I am now speaking of heavenly things, so while I think these things should probably be available to all; I recognize that the darkness of the world has taken over many minds and separated them from the concepts which should, in their conception, be as free for the mind as air is for the body. This does not mean that all thoughts are free, on the contrary -every thought has a price, in fact, a high one. The price of a thought is as great as its influence over the thinker. This is most readily seen in the question which is pregnant with meaning and then answered with the presumption of the finality (this finality being maintained within the absence of hope).
In intention, I fall into this structured sentimentality because of its personal perceptiveness which allows itself to sink either into elated self-exultation or desperate self-preservation. Each is, sadly, full of pejorative connotations; and full of thoughts which splinter my already broken mind.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Tu Quoque
If my powers over the written word were greater, I would attempt to convey the sardonic humor behind my response. The actual wording of the response is conveyed, I would hope, more fully in the exclusion of the "international tongue of commerce, aviation, and diplomacy that is English." I, of course, use this explanation carefully, just as I do the obvious facts -for I fear that more often than not, people get upset about their own ignorance being displayed through what they would consider a loaded question. Sadly the question (if it were such a thing) would be one more of companionship than of challenge.
Companionship, in its own distinction of the phrase would allow for the question. This allowance, interestingly enough, would encourage the elucidation of self. Sadly, even this type of elucidation is an unwelcome and unloved movement towards something which all people claim to be above and in process with, but are actually lethally intertwined with and almost always ignorant of; community.
Knowledge of self only adds division to the collective knowledge of the whole, if that whole is constantly in the process of qualitative comparison. "You as well!" It is strange how frightened people often seek to frighten their opponents -not because they think it will remove their danger- but because it, in a sense, lowers the playing field. At least in their opposition they can be united; united in the realization that the existence of their individual fears, once shared, allow for a connection which may have never existed in anything more than the eternal possibilities of that moment.
Oh, humorous deliberation! We, in seeing our own destruction, quickly attempt to align ourselves with those around us, not because we care about the community which could be united and possibly divert the destruction, but because we desire our own deification. Curious, how in danger the soul seeks the translation of itself throughout its world so that in the time of its own undoing (if the world was to continue) it would not totally cease. Yet, at the same instance, this soul seeks to -in its translation of itself- annihilate the possibility of the world's existence without it.
In a ridiculous philosophical technicality, we could argue that this is simply because of the psychological misunderstanding of a being to believe that in its absence from reality that reality ceases to be. This is most clearly seen in the life lived so devotedly different from itself in varying situations that one may even have the place to develop completely new beings within oneself. The desire for life in trouble is so powerful that it actually creates life -granted, the created life is nothing more than a phantasm; the spiritual representation of double-mindedness.
A double-minded individual destroys within his double-mindedness his natural ability to be individual, and thus, in himself, he asks the question to those around; hoping that in their answer he can become more than just himself. This attempt is done in vain, for even if they respond, they will only be united in the question, in the same way that the response unites enemies; to their ignorance -and to their self-destruction.
Companionship, in its own distinction of the phrase would allow for the question. This allowance, interestingly enough, would encourage the elucidation of self. Sadly, even this type of elucidation is an unwelcome and unloved movement towards something which all people claim to be above and in process with, but are actually lethally intertwined with and almost always ignorant of; community.
Knowledge of self only adds division to the collective knowledge of the whole, if that whole is constantly in the process of qualitative comparison. "You as well!" It is strange how frightened people often seek to frighten their opponents -not because they think it will remove their danger- but because it, in a sense, lowers the playing field. At least in their opposition they can be united; united in the realization that the existence of their individual fears, once shared, allow for a connection which may have never existed in anything more than the eternal possibilities of that moment.
Oh, humorous deliberation! We, in seeing our own destruction, quickly attempt to align ourselves with those around us, not because we care about the community which could be united and possibly divert the destruction, but because we desire our own deification. Curious, how in danger the soul seeks the translation of itself throughout its world so that in the time of its own undoing (if the world was to continue) it would not totally cease. Yet, at the same instance, this soul seeks to -in its translation of itself- annihilate the possibility of the world's existence without it.
In a ridiculous philosophical technicality, we could argue that this is simply because of the psychological misunderstanding of a being to believe that in its absence from reality that reality ceases to be. This is most clearly seen in the life lived so devotedly different from itself in varying situations that one may even have the place to develop completely new beings within oneself. The desire for life in trouble is so powerful that it actually creates life -granted, the created life is nothing more than a phantasm; the spiritual representation of double-mindedness.
A double-minded individual destroys within his double-mindedness his natural ability to be individual, and thus, in himself, he asks the question to those around; hoping that in their answer he can become more than just himself. This attempt is done in vain, for even if they respond, they will only be united in the question, in the same way that the response unites enemies; to their ignorance -and to their self-destruction.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Singularity
Singularity keeps more intensity than most societies can bear to sustain. Simply, because it is so singular. Strangely enough, mankind does not often seek to determine the end of such singularity. Perhaps this is because of the subtle mathematical inclinations of the human mind? Practical, functional power is not quite so clear or indefinite as to contain within itself the mention or conception of the infinite. Thus, while it is always an option; efficiency demands that this option is ignored, at least for the moment of the practical exploration of the function. Thus, it is quite startling that singularity closely holds itself to the frustratingly logical perception of reality that is mathematics. It is these mathematics which conditionally holds values to measurements and thus distracts the pursuer from its quarry; that is, from infinite value. In this way, values cease, at least in a dogmatically mathematical way, to have their otherwise assumed ability to attain what philosophers would call immortality.
Oddly enough, values, in the conceptions of mankind have an frustratingly illogical longevity of life which challenges the mathematicians of our time to question their ability to measure such values in a purely objective way. What deep danger may we possibly meet when we allow values to become less than their original placeholders for goals or aims and to sink to mere pictographs; the visual placeholders for objects which may or may not be seen the same from various angles? I fear this danger is much more than the danger which scientists sought to combat with the institution of Latin in their otherwise linguistically diverse society.
Singularity then, in its intense specification of a single goal or aim is seeking, in a very unobtrusively and almost arbitrary way, to combine the infinite reality of possibility to the probable application of the moment. Thus, in the very moment that one is singular in one's intention, practice, and relation to reality, the values infused within that formula are allowed to have infinite meaning; the placeholders themselves become valuable. The eternal is valued because it is such. Such eternally implied values are then infinitely precise in their obligation; for their timelessness is what empowers what we may, in the future consider; earnestness.
At what point does value then take an infinite value? Philosophically, mathematics arbitrarily allows values to jump from stagnant corruption to precipitating immortality. Eternal reality collides with present possibility and those things which are hypothetically applied in various situations take on infinite value. Ethics derives itself from morality at that exact point in which eternity enters into the finite equation. In mathematics, this is singularity. And when it comes to Mathematics, my precipitation reaches the end of its motivation.
Oddly enough, values, in the conceptions of mankind have an frustratingly illogical longevity of life which challenges the mathematicians of our time to question their ability to measure such values in a purely objective way. What deep danger may we possibly meet when we allow values to become less than their original placeholders for goals or aims and to sink to mere pictographs; the visual placeholders for objects which may or may not be seen the same from various angles? I fear this danger is much more than the danger which scientists sought to combat with the institution of Latin in their otherwise linguistically diverse society.
Singularity then, in its intense specification of a single goal or aim is seeking, in a very unobtrusively and almost arbitrary way, to combine the infinite reality of possibility to the probable application of the moment. Thus, in the very moment that one is singular in one's intention, practice, and relation to reality, the values infused within that formula are allowed to have infinite meaning; the placeholders themselves become valuable. The eternal is valued because it is such. Such eternally implied values are then infinitely precise in their obligation; for their timelessness is what empowers what we may, in the future consider; earnestness.
At what point does value then take an infinite value? Philosophically, mathematics arbitrarily allows values to jump from stagnant corruption to precipitating immortality. Eternal reality collides with present possibility and those things which are hypothetically applied in various situations take on infinite value. Ethics derives itself from morality at that exact point in which eternity enters into the finite equation. In mathematics, this is singularity. And when it comes to Mathematics, my precipitation reaches the end of its motivation.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Anticipation
Anticipation sinks deeper in my memory than I would often care to admit. Darkness finds itself a comfortable home within my perceptions about my assumptions than the assumptions find in the generalizations which often foul my tongue. Oddly, I notice this. Odder still, I often forget to make actual my threats to preform a literally verbal "ethnic cleansing" of my own mouth. Maybe I should just wash my mouth out with soap; having to combat the outside inclinations of a stereotypical middle-class Christian, blinded by their own ability to better reflect the sun than their melanin blessed counterparts, to assume my ceremonial washing is the righteous response to unrighteous behavior instead of physical practicality to encourage mental actuality.
How is it that when experiencing life, most people cannot accurately identify, explain, or evaluate their own expectations toward or perceptions of that life? Stepping into a room holds within itself a million presumptions and expectations. We assume that when we step into this room, that there will be something to step into. Perhaps there is no floor, perhaps just another door, perhaps the door is not a door at all, but a painted curtain over a brick wall. Think about that. Did you? How many assumptions are contained within that sentence? I expect that you probably thought about the door analogy; however, I told you to specifically think about 'that'. Perhaps you didn't catch 'that'. Perhaps you did, and if you did, then you probably know 'that'. See?
The simplest of tasks in life is to have tasks. How easy is it to do? How hard is it to be? I am not sure, but committing to surety is not the wisest of activities anyways. But again; why is it so hard for us to remember our expectations about an experience in life, when in recollection of that same period of life we are often completely riddled with only our perceptions about that experience. And sadly, often these perceptions of our experience only serve as tools which we sorely misuse to evaluate our lives and those around us, while at the same time twist to justify and qualify our own position in that experience. We enter life with our perception, and we remember life with our perception; so how is it that we can live life outside of our own perceptions?
Doing this is more than doing; it is being, and it is being beyond what we would by nature be, it is climbing without ropes in practical actuality. It is this practicing of the theoretical "climbing beyond one's ability" which can catapult us beyond what we perceive and expect into something else entirely.
Anticipation; what keeps you reading, thinking this may possibly draw to some conclusion or beneficial collection of words. Sadly, my words are merely the linguistic placeholders for thoughts which cannot so easily be manipulated into a sequence of reason, or even of value. Seeing as the valued integers are conceptual absolutes, and the functional signs are no more than grey scaled hypothetical situations, which could not be more undefined if they were completely devoted to case-studies for unfortunate students of Intercultural Studies; it is this drab anticipation which influences me to write and you to read. Please read aloud, for at this point, the anticipation only gives a measure of insight which charges the user to place more undefined faith in what they cannot see. Further, it is making my mouth dry.
How is it that when experiencing life, most people cannot accurately identify, explain, or evaluate their own expectations toward or perceptions of that life? Stepping into a room holds within itself a million presumptions and expectations. We assume that when we step into this room, that there will be something to step into. Perhaps there is no floor, perhaps just another door, perhaps the door is not a door at all, but a painted curtain over a brick wall. Think about that. Did you? How many assumptions are contained within that sentence? I expect that you probably thought about the door analogy; however, I told you to specifically think about 'that'. Perhaps you didn't catch 'that'. Perhaps you did, and if you did, then you probably know 'that'. See?
The simplest of tasks in life is to have tasks. How easy is it to do? How hard is it to be? I am not sure, but committing to surety is not the wisest of activities anyways. But again; why is it so hard for us to remember our expectations about an experience in life, when in recollection of that same period of life we are often completely riddled with only our perceptions about that experience. And sadly, often these perceptions of our experience only serve as tools which we sorely misuse to evaluate our lives and those around us, while at the same time twist to justify and qualify our own position in that experience. We enter life with our perception, and we remember life with our perception; so how is it that we can live life outside of our own perceptions?
Doing this is more than doing; it is being, and it is being beyond what we would by nature be, it is climbing without ropes in practical actuality. It is this practicing of the theoretical "climbing beyond one's ability" which can catapult us beyond what we perceive and expect into something else entirely.
Anticipation; what keeps you reading, thinking this may possibly draw to some conclusion or beneficial collection of words. Sadly, my words are merely the linguistic placeholders for thoughts which cannot so easily be manipulated into a sequence of reason, or even of value. Seeing as the valued integers are conceptual absolutes, and the functional signs are no more than grey scaled hypothetical situations, which could not be more undefined if they were completely devoted to case-studies for unfortunate students of Intercultural Studies; it is this drab anticipation which influences me to write and you to read. Please read aloud, for at this point, the anticipation only gives a measure of insight which charges the user to place more undefined faith in what they cannot see. Further, it is making my mouth dry.
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